sahabat?

Salahkah diriku ini
Pabila rasa ini ada di hatiku
Kau memang teman sahabatku
Kau memang teman baikku
Dan aku jatuh cinta padamu

Sakiti hatiku
Bila aku melihat
Kau tak tersenyum karena
Cintamu sedang terluka
Dia menyakitimu
Dan aku sakit karenanya
Kau ingin cinta sejati
Kau ingin ketulusan hati

Reff :
Biarkan kunyatakan
Aku cintaimu
Biarkan aku datang
Di dalam hatimu

Biarkan ku akhiri
Rasa sakit di hatimu
Karena aku sahabatmu
Aku yang dengan tulus mencintaimu

(Cindy)

today, i went to uni and found out the answer of my questions two nights before. sadly, i couldn't go to buka bersama with my junior high school friends. well, that's so sad, especially when almost every year, i helped to organize our gatherings. but, that's alright. i hope there would be another year and more to come so we can have more outing together.

one of my best friend sent me sms, which i couldn't understand about the our male friend who spoiled the nite (she said). well, couldn't have other thought as I always know that my best friend had a thing with this male friend, though she did not want to admit it all along. yeah, but it's just so clear when you look at how she reacts when he's around. this topic has been one of our gossips all this time.

yes, my male friend is a 'women guy', i mean he has this magnet thing to attract women, even with his annoying ways (i am not one of the women, i suppose). he used to have an on and off relationship with my girl friend at junior high. but then, i did not know why, they broke up eventually, perhaps leaving misery in my male friend's heart. well, in brief, my male friend is the kind of guy who knows that a lot of women are being seduced by his magical charming attitude. yeah, he knows, he told me in one of our younger days.

my best friend always reacts like she hates this guy which makes it more obvious that actually she feels just the opposite. it is not a rare thing that she says those awful things to him in front of everyone. well, my other best friends and I never complain too much about it, we're just waiting for the moment to come so she sees senses. she also wanted to introduce this guy with her best friend, which made it more complicated (when she felt jealous).

this guy is supposed to be one of the coordinator of our class, with me. but he rarely comes to our gatherings nowadays. but then, in the last event (i was not there), he came. my best friend got really mixed up. she got nervous, she could not even look at his eyes, nor talk to him. and she finally says, "when a person has a thing for someone, she/he can never hide the feeling". aha! eventually, she sees that! I laughed at the first time i heard this, but then suddenly it just reminded me of one thing.

you know, when you have a close friend (not your best friend, but pretty close with you), from the opposite sex (or the same, if you're gay), you never expect to experience the kind of feeling like love. when you start to realize that, you want to disappear or you want him to disappear from your circle. in reality, it rarely happens. when you do disappear, you just feel helpless. other friends will start noticing the change and wondering why. yes, not a good idea.

i still don't have any suggestion toward this. all i can say is, be brave, admit the feeling. just so you feel a bit more peace with yourself. he doesn't need to know, especially if you already have a boyfriend (and so he does). :) 

just admit.